I don’t buy that we should face our fears just for the heck of it. People are always posting quotes on Facebook about overcoming fear and how you should never let fear hold you back. Sometimes I get sick of those quotes (even though I have posted some of them myself).
What is true for me is that I will do things that scare me if it’s for a reason I believe in, or for someone I love. To paraphrase Victor Frankl:
Those who have a WHY can bear almost any HOW.
Yesterday I drove to St. Louis to be at an important doctor’s appointment with a loved one. I used to live and drive in St. Louis every day, but since we’ve lived in Jefferson City for 15+ years, I rarely drive more than a five miles at a time and never in heavy traffic. Unfortunately, I’ve let myself develop quite the phobia of driving over bridges, getting sandwiched between big trucks, driving next to a median, passing other cars, etc. It wasn’t easy–there was snow earlier in the day and the schools had even been closed. The road conditions were okay, but what freaked me out was that the snow had blown on all the highway signs, and I was so worried I wouldn’t be able to find my exits. I was very tense, but I made it. It was worth the stress–not because of some abstract reason of facing my fear, but because I did something important for someone I love. And by the way, the doctor’s appointment went well.
6 thoughts on “A Tidbit of Truth from Around Here Lately”
the older I get, the less I care about pushing through issues. Every time my class reunion comes around (every 5 years) and every time my wife’s class reunion comes around..different year so I get to deal with it every 4 years…I suck it up, I go, and then I swear that is the last one I attend…I don’t party, I don’t stay up late and it never fails, there’s usually some ass who either tries to put me down or flirt with my wife…. So Dr…what I’m hearing you say is, you’d give me your blessing if I chose not to go next time? 😉 I’m not the shy nerd I was in school, but @ the same time, I have to ask myself , who am I trying to prove something to, by pushing past the fear and attending? It doesn’t get any easier. Glad you had a safe trip to St Louis! DM
Yes, I will write you an official prescription to never go to another reunion again!
I’ve been noticing that too lately- if it’s something I value, I can face the fear and do it. Since I moved away from the city 12 years ago, I have developed the fear of busy, city freeway traffic too. When I have to drive in it now, I tell myself I used to do it with no problem and laugh at myself (still afraid of course). That seems to help too, aside from having a good reason to put myself through it.
I’m glad I’m not the only one! I had to sign the alphabet song to get me through the anxiety of driving over a bridge. Silly, but it worked. Glad you stopped by 🙂
I like the philosophy of focusing on the WHY rather than the HOW. Much less stressful, and really makes me think about what I want, not just what I think I should be doing. Fear will always be there; for me, I know that I just have to decide that other things are more important and keep moving, sometimes just on hope and knowing what my dreams are and as you said, Barb, why they’re important. I hope some of that makes sense!
Yes, that does make sense! Me too, some fear and anxiety will likely always be around. Trying to fight it makes it worse. Hope you’re doing well!