The Problem with Pretty

I journal and make lists with multi-colored pens.

I set the table with pretty dishes (I own many sets, although most are from Target.)

At my consultant job, I work in a cubicle. But it’s fully decorated, and I like to think it’s rather chic (cubicle chic).

I selected this WordPress blog theme because I thought it was pretty.

I plan my outfits the night before, down to every last piece of jewelry.

Pretty things make me happy.

So what’s the problem with pretty?

Life isn’t alway pretty. Things don’t match. There are chips, cracks. Things break.

When I’ve done my meditation practice this week, I’ve struggled. I’ve resisted. I’ve cried. My mind has been very messy.

I wanted this self-compassion project to be neater. I wanted it to fit into sections. So far, (gosh, it’s not even been two weeks and I’m already whining) it’s not going that way.

I guess a big part of this self-compassion project is going to be learning to accept that life is messy. Pretty darn messy.

7 thoughts on “The Problem with Pretty”

I really understand this.

I feel like I have to have all the steps completed before I can move forward and “work on” something else. All the boxes have to be ticked and everything put in its place. So I can’t go and try to return an item at a store because I haven’t done the work I need to on self esteem. I can’t see myself having moved a little further out of my “shyness rut” when I did a presentation or went to a party, because I haven’t figured out why I’m shy.

I wrote a bit about feeling like I have to fix things before I can do things in my blog post last year http://sleepydwarf.blogspot.com/2011/08/p365-day-229-little-bit-of-self.html

I think “life is messy” is a great thing to keep in mind! I’m going to write it down somewhere I can see it during the day.

Posted January 22, 2012 at 8:39 am by Barbara Markway

Thanks for your comment! I just found your blog and commented there.

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- Posted January 23, 2012 at 3:59 am by norfickchick
  
  Thank you for your comment Barb. Feeling follows Action. I like that a lot. That might be the very thing I need to get me out of the rut I’ve found myself in over the last few weeks. It’s one of those things that I know – I’ve read it enough times – but to have it expressed so simply makes it more accessible & doable, if you know what I mean 🙂

This morning in Church I thought of you and your self-compassion project. I’d made the comment in a small group discussion about beating myself up sometimes after I write something. I don’t know if you ever do this, but sometimes I might share something verbally, or like I said, post something on my blog where I admit I am struggling in an area…I will think to myself..now why in the world did I share that??? or people reading this will think I’m such a looser…etc.. etc. The thing is, when I’ve read other peoples candid confessions about some area they are struggling, rather than think less of them, I have the opposite reaction…someone in the group then said to me this morning…”you need to be kinder to yourself…you need to extend the same amount of grace toward yourself as you would to anyone else” So I guess I too have some room to grow in my own “self compassion”…

Very true, life is messy and things don’t always go as planned. Sounds fun though getting all the multi-colored pens and decorating! Hope your project is going well so far and you’re finding ways to be compassionate to yourself!

Posted January 22, 2012 at 8:24 am by Barbara Markway

Hi Brittany, Good to hear from you. I’ve been having Brittany withdrawals! I am finding I am being more compassionate to myself in very small ways, that will hopefully add up over time. And I do love my multi-colored pens!

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- Posted January 22, 2012 at 9:44 pm by brittany220
  
  Haha Brittany withdrawals, aww! I’m glad you have found small ways to be compassionate to yourself! That is a good approach to take. 🙂