A Shy Person’s Secret Wish

Have you seen this e-card zooming around the Internet lately? While I wouldn’t say it describes me perfectly, there’s something about it that rings true. I relate to the tension of being naturally introverted, yet caring deeply about things and wanting to share my voice with the world. I’ve also had this secret, somewhat silly wish to be a model. I’ve always known I’m photogenic, and I enjoy having my picture taken (if I’m in the right mood).  What a contradiction–a shy person who wants to be a model. No wonder I don’t understand myself sometimes!

When I saw there was a model search contest sponsored by More magazine, I decided to enter. I had a photo (the one Greg took of me for this blog). But in addition to the photo, you had to write an essay on “what makes you feel beautiful, inside and out.” This was a major sticking point for me. The truth is, I don’t always feel beautiful. Sometimes I feel anything but beautiful. So should I even enter this contest? I wrestled for days with my essay, and almost called it quits. In the end, I like what I wrote. You can read it here.

The winner gets a trip for two to New York, a professional photo shoot, and will be featured in the print edition of More magazine. I don’t expect to win, but I’m glad I entered. I’m also glad I decided to tell you about it 🙂 I almost didn’t.