Surrender #tinyhearts

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I just perused quotes on “surrender” and didn’t find any that I liked. So I’m going to tell you a story instead.

My dog peed on me today. She was on my lap,  a blanket between us, and when we got up, I was all wet. This happened a few days ago, too, but I wasn’t sure what had happened then. My pants were wet, but I thought maybe I had gotten water on them while I was doing dishes and hadn’t noticed. But when it happened again today, I smelled more carefully and realized this was urine.

She has had bladder and kidney stones (Bichons are prone to them). She has had two surgeries and is on special diet. I thought she was doing better, but apparently not. It is so confusing…I guess with the stones maybe she doesn’t have the sensation that she has to go? I just can’t imagine her leaking all over me, sleeping all curled up like nothing was going on.

Of course, I’ll call the vet tomorrow. But right now, I’m upset. I’m envisioning years of a dog wearing diapers. Just when I’m launching my son out into the world (I think he’s about to get his first “real” job after graduating from college) I have this creature totally attached to me, dependent on me, and incontinent!

Right after I changed clothes, put them in the washer, and cleaned myself up, she grabbed a toy and wanted to play. And she had to look so darn cute. It took every ounce of patience to play with her. I know it’s not her fault.

So I feel like surrender is a good word for tonight. Sometimes we have so little control, it really stinks (literally and figuratively in this case).

2 thoughts on “Surrender #tinyhearts

  1. Pingback: Prosperity #tinyhearts | The Self-Compassion Project

  2. I think trust is a much better word. It feels a bit like rest. Your poor doggie doesn’t understand why her body isn’t working well; it makes sense she would curl up with you during a bladder malfuntion. She trusts you, and feels safe with you. So she feels better in that trust when her body is uncomfortable and she’s scared. Trust is not hiding from you or refusing to live. She is still able to play, because she knows she can trust in you to keep her loved & warm—even if sometimes she makes you a little wet.

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