Stories and Compassion

“Everything is held together with stories.

That is all that is holding us together,

stories and compassion.” 

― Barry Lopez

noname-29

I told you my stories, and you reached out with compassion. It helped. It continues to help. Thank you.

I have had a good few days, and I know it’s because of you. This is no small thing–being there for each other. Yet we underestimate its importance.

At first glance, there seems to be nothing new about valuing compassion. It’s an idea that has been around for thousands of years in both the religious and secular worlds. But perhaps it is the universality of compassion that has lulled us into underestimating its importance.

Compassion is a treasure hidden in plain sight,

which we often don’t notice. -Larry Dorsey, M.D.

A big trend in psychotherapy is  “evidenced based treatment protocols.” Even as a write that, it sounds so cold. Of course, there are techniques and methods that are effective for a wide variety of problems.

But research over a long period of time continues to find that the core ingredient of someone’s progress in therapy is the relationship between the therapist and the client. It’s what humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers called “unconditional positive regard.” Psychologist David Myers writes:

Unconditional positive regard is an attitude of grace,

an attitude that values us even knowing our failings.

noname-30Writing on a blog is not the same as psychotherapy, but similar healing happens. You tell your stories. You find others have similar stories. You learn you’re not alone. You are seen.

You find out people accept you even if

you’re a bit tattered around the edges.

Again, this is no small thing.

Again, thank you, friends.

3 thoughts on “Stories and Compassion

  1. I was up @ 4 AM too :-) In my case, it’s not a dog, it’s due to financial pressures I started to blog/ write about it but it’s still in the draft folder. Glad you have had a few good days back to back.Knowing someone else knows exactly what I am wrestling with (doesn’t judge and really seems to enter my situation as much as they are humanly possible.does take the sting out of it for me.

  2. Great post, hope you get to catch up on your sleep tonight! That’s a very good point about how unconditional positive regard is what makes therapy successful and also is what makes blogging meaningful and helpful. Thank you for sharing your stories!

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